so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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