Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
