yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
