So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
