We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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