Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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