It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize