I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
