Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
