I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
