dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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