i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
