He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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