I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
