But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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