those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
