Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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