Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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