The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
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Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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