I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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