i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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