She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
