Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
