Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
