Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
