this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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