I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
