I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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