The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
