2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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