i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
