do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I want to be your penis for a week.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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