but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
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I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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