Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
