So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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