Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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