U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
