I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
