Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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