You really coming over, don't trick.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
