but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
