Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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