first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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