I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
