what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
