my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
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As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
its liver damage thursday
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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