I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
