But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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