i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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