she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize