He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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