I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize