I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
