You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
