Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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