the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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