Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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