bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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