She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so much tequila, so little girl.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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