I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
