I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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