if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
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It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"