well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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