Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
