Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
