your room smells of hookers.
And success
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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