I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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