So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
