God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
