I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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